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"You Are My Sunshine" Midi



The Handyman

Marie was always after Boudreaux to do some repairs around the house. Boudreaux's philosophy was never to do today what he could put off until tomorrow, and Marie was getting just a little frustrated. One day, while Boudreaux was working in his fields, Thibodeaux came by the house to visit, and noticed that Marie was a trifle upset. Thibodeaux of course asked her what was wrong, and she replied, "Dat damn Boudreaux ! I ax him to fix de leaky toilet, and he tell me, 'Marie, do you see Plumber written on my forehead ?' I ax him to fix de front porch, and he tell me, 'Marie, do you see Carpenter written on my forehead ?' I ax him to fix de light switch, and he tell me, 'Mais, do you see Electrician written on my forehead ?' I tell you Thib, I can't get dat man to fix nuttin around dis place !"

Thibodeaux tells Marie, "Mais, Cher, I can fix all dat stuff for you." Marie says, "But Thibodeaux, I can't afford to pay you to do all dat." Thibodeaux, says, "Cher, I'm sure we can work us a little deal. How about either making me a cake, or maybe we can have us a little romp in de hay after I fix all de stuff ? Den we can call it an even trade." Marie agrees.

Boudreaux gets home later that day, and Marie can't help but rubbing in the fact that she got Thibodeaux to fix all the stuff she had been after him to fix, and all that Thibodeaux wanted was a cake or a romp in the hay. Boudreaux asks her, "Well dat was nice of Thibodeaux. What kind of cake you made for him ?" Marie says, "Boudreaux, do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead ?"


Another Golf Game

Boudreaux decided to go play a game of golf with his good friends Thibodeaux and Hebert one morning. He promised Marie that he would be home in time for lunch. Well, lunchtime came and went, and no Boudreaux. Mid afternoon came and went, still no Boudreaux. Suppertime passed, and Boudreaux finally shows up about an hour later. Marie is, of course, just a little bit mad. "Boudreaux, where in hell you been ? You say you gonna be home by lunch, and here it is dark time, and you jus now gettin' home !" Boudreaux says, "Marie, don' get on my case. My good fren, Thibodeaux, died on de golf course dis morning." Marie says, "Oh, Boudreaux, I'm so sorry. I can understan' now; makin' funeral arrangements for your fren, and all. I understan' why you late." Boudreaux says, "Funeral arrangements. What funeral arrangements? It was 'Hit de ball, drag Thibodeaux. Hit de ball, drag Thibodeaux. It took me and Hebert all day to finish the game!"


Boudreaux & Thibodeaux Relaxing

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had been sitting on the front porch for awhile, when Thibodeaux stands up saying, "Whooee, Boudreaux, I gotta get up. My butt done fell asleep." Boudreaux says, "Yeh, I heard it snoring awhile ago !"


Boudreaux Goes To The Doctor

Boudreaux, getting up in years, went to the doctor for a checkup. A few days later, the doctor saw Boudreaux walking down the street arm in arm with an obviously robust and bouncy young lady. The doctor stops him and asks him, "Boudreaux, what are you doing ?" Boudreaux tells him, "Mais Doc, I'm doin' what you told me to do, 'Get myself a hot mama, and be cheerful !' " The old Doc, all shook up, tells Boudreaux, "No, no, that's not what I said! I said, 'You got a heart murmer, be careful !' "


Alien Sauce Piquant

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were walking through the woods the other day, when a flying saucer landed near them. A door opened, and two little green aliens climbed down out of the spacecraft. Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux, "Mais, look at dat. What you tink dat is ?" Boudreaux, aiming his shotgun at the little space critters, tells him, "Thibodeaux, I don't know, but you hurry back to de camp, and start making a roux and put on a pot of rice !"


The Helicopter Pilot

Boudreaux was a helicopter pilot for one of the oil companies in South Louisiana. One day while flying in from offshore about lunchtime, Boudreaux decided he had time to land at home to get a bite to eat. When he landed, his buddy Thibodeaux saw him from across the road and came running over. Thibodeaux says, "Mais you know, Boudreaux, if you give me a few tips, I bet I can fly dat helicopter." So Boudreaux, being the good friend he is, gave Thib some quick tips. Thibodeaux gets in, starts the helicopter up, pulls the stick up, and the chopper shoots straight up, higher and higher, finally going through the clouds and out of sight. A couple of minutes later, the chopper comes straight back down just as fast as it had gone up, crashing to the ground. Boudreaux runs over to the now demolished bird, and asks Thibodeaux as he is crawling out of the wreckage, "Thib, What happened ?" Thibodeaux replies, "Mais, Boudreaux, I was doin' jus' fine, but I was getting pretty high up der. And de higher I got, de colder it was getting. So I turned off dat big fan on top de helicopter !"


The Best Lovers

Boudreaux was back at the City Bar the next Saturday afternoon, downing a few more of dem "Soda pops with the foam on top", and starting to feel pretty frisky. He was making small talk with the barmaid, and pretty soon the talk turned to fooling around. Boudreaux asks the lady, "Cher, which men you tink make the best lovers ?" She replied, "The absolutely best lovers are the American Indian and Cajuns." Boudreaux says, "Mais Cher, let me introduce myself. My name is Geronimo Boudreaux."


Boudreaux Wins The Lottery

Boudreaux done went and won $10-million in the Louisiana lottery last week. Bright and early the next morning, he gets in his Country Cadillac, and drives all the way to Baton Rouge to collect his money. When he walks in, he tells the lottery man, "Hey, I'm Boudreaux, the lottery winner, and I'm here to collect my money !"

The lottery man tells him, "Well, Mr. Boudreaux, it doesn't work like that. You can't have the whole amount at one time, but we will pay you half a million a year for the next twenty years."

Boudreaux, upset, tells the man, "Mais, no, Cher, I won the lottery, and I want all my money right now. I don' want to wait for twenty years to get it !"

The man tries to calm Boudreaux down, telling him that's how the lottery works.

Boudreaux, really excited now, tells him, "Mais, if dats de way y'all wanta be, jus' never mind! Here's your damn ticket, gimme my dollar back !"


Thibodeaux Drowned

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux decided to leave their jobs at the crawfish farm to get better jobs in the big city. So they went to N'Awlins and got a job at one of the breweries there. Just a couple of weeks after they started work, Thibodeaux fell into one of the beer vats and drowned. Well it fell on Boudreaux to go back to Catahoula and tell Mrs. Thibodeaux that her husband had drowned. Boudreaux says, "Clotile, Cher, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you dis, but Thibodeaux done gone and drowned hisself in one of dem beer vats." Clotile asks, "Oh my, did he suffer alot ?" Boudreaux replies, "No, I don' tink so, because before he drowned, he climbed out dat vat twice to go to the restroom."


Boudreaux Leaves Marie

Boudreaux and Marie had been married for about fifteen years. They had a dozen kids. Every time they had a fight, Boudreaux would go down to the dock, get in his pirogue (a Cajun boat), and paddle off down the bayou. Marie would quickly gather up all of the kids, run down to the dock, and yell, "Boudreaux, please come back." And you know, Boudreaux always came back. One day they had the mother of all fights, and this time Boudreaux really had it. He went to the dock, jumped in his pirogue, and took off down the bayou. Marie, as usual, ran to the dock with all the kids, and begged Boudreaux to come back. Boudreaux yells back, "Marie dis time you really done it. I'm not coming back !"

Marie says, "But Boudreaux, what about de house ?" Boudreaux yells back, "Keep de damn house !", and keeps paddling. Marie hollers, "But, Boudreaux, what about de kids ?" Boudreaux yells back, "You can keep de kids, too !", and paddles even faster. Marie, raising her dress, yells, "Hey, Boudreaux, what about dis ?" Boudreaux looks back, seeing what Marie was showing him, turns the pirogue around, and heading back home, tells her, "Dammit, Marie, one of dese days, I'm really gonna leave you, yeh !"


Boudreaux And Thibodeaux Get Caught

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had been out fishing the other day, and had only caught each one fish. As they returned to the dock, a game warden was waiting for them, and asked to see their fishing licenses. Well, naturally, neither of them had one, so the game warden wrote them both up for fishing without a license. When they went to pay their fines, the judge fined them each five-hundred dollars. As they were leaving the court house, Boudreaux turned to Thibodeaux, and told him, "Thib, do you realize dat dem two fish cost us a thousand dollars ?" Thibodeaux answered, "Yeh, I know dat. It's a good ting we only caught two of dem."


Marie's Good News

Boudreaux comes home from working in his fields one afternoon, and Marie is waiting for him at the door. Marie tells him, "Cher, I gots some good news and some bad news for you." Boudreaux says, "Well, give me de good news first." Marie says, "Well, I wants you to know dat de airbag in your new truck works real good."


Boudreaux Is Lucky 

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux ran into each other on the levee the other day. During the ensuing conversation, Boudreaux remarked, "Boy, Thibodeaux, my wife, Marie, she is an angel, yeh !" Thibodeaux replies, "Mais, you sure are lucky, Boudreaux. My wife, Clotile is still living !"

Boudreaux's Drink-O-Meter

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were out drinking a few suds last night, and every time Boudreaux took a sip of his beer, he would look in his shirt pocket. Thibodeaux noticed this and asked Boudreaux why he kept looking in his pocket. Boudreaux told him, "Mais, I gots me a picture of Marie in my pocket, and when she starts looking good, I know I done had enough to drink."


Boudreaux's Pains

Boudreaux got a fish hook stuck in his finger (Ouch !), so he went to see Doctor Thibodeaux to get it pulled out. Doctor Thibodeaux tells him that he will give him a shot to deaden the finger in order to take the hook out. Boudreaux tells him, "No, I don't wants no shot! Just pull out de hook !" Doc tells him, "Mais dats gonna hurt bad, if I don't deaden it first."

Boudreaux says, "Doc, I done experience de two worse pains in de world already. I can take it. Just pull out de hook." Doctor Thibodeaux says, "Mais whatever you say, but I'm tolding you, dat's gonna hurt." Boudreaux says, "Doc, I'm told you to go ahead, it can't be as bad as dem two other pains I already done felt." So the Doc proceeds to pull the hook out, as Boudreaux screams his fool head off in pain. Doctor Thibodeaux says, "Mais, Boudreaux, we got de hook out, but I don't understood how you could stand de pain like dat."

Boudreaux says, "Doc, I done told you dat I done felt de two worse pains in de world before. Dis was nothing." Doctor Thibodeaux , of course curious, asks him what could possibly have been worse than this. Boudreaux says, "Mais Doc, one time I was walk through de woods, and I got the call of nature. So I squat down in the bushes to take care of business, and sat right on a bear trap. Now dat hurt!" Doctor Thibodeaux says, "Whooee, I can imagine dat musta been one of de worse pains in de world. What was de other one ?" Boudreaux answers, "When I go to de end of de chain on dat trap !"


Boudreaux, The Nobel Prize Winner

Thibodeaux was passing by a field and seen Boudreaux stand out der. He wonder why he's stand out der, but he go on to work. The next day when Thibodeaux go to work, he pass by de same field and he saw Boudreaux out in de field again. He wonder what he doing out der, but go on to work. The next morning when Thibodeaux go to work, Boudreaux is in the field again just standing out der. De curosity is just too much, so Thibodeaux ask, "Hey, Boudreaux, every morning when I go to work, I just see you stand out der in the field. Why you do that?" Boudreaux laugh and told Thibodeaux, " I'm gonna to get me one of dem Noble Prize!" Thibodeaux say, "How you gone to do dat just stand out der?" Boudreaux say, "I heard they give dem Noble Prize for dem people OUTSTANDING IN DER FIELDS!'"

(Contributed by Kimberly from Jennings, LA)


Yet Another Fishing Trip

Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went fishing in the basin the other day. They rented a boat at the landing and had a fantastic day of fishing, catching a boat-load. Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux, "Man, we goin' to have to remember dis spot for next time." Thibodeaux says, "Mais dat's no problem. Let's mark de spot." Boudreaux asks him how he's going to do that. Thibodeaux says, "Mais, dat's no problem", and leans over the side of the boat and marks a big "X" on the side of the boat with a piece of chalk. Boudreaux tells him, "Mais, you couyon, dat's not gonna help ! How you know we goin' to get de same boat next time ?"


Three Old Men

Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Hebert were all getting up in years. One day they were discussing the drawbacks of old age. Hebert said, "Me I wakes up every day at seven o'clock, and I gots to pee real bad. I goes to de bathroom, stand there, and just strain and try to force it, but all I get is a little dribble." Boudreaux says, Yeh, I know how it is. Me I wakes up at eight o'clock every day and got to doody real bad. I go to de bathroom and try real hard, and strain, but all I gets is a little plop." Thibodeaux says, with tears in his eyes, "Mais, me I pee like a thoroughbred at seven o'clock, and I poot like a goose at eight o'clock, every morning." Boudreaux and Hebert ask him, "So what's de problem ?" Thibodeaux tearfully replys, "De problem is dat I never wake up 'till nine o'clock !"


The Circle

Boudreaux, while driving his pick-um-up truck through East Texas last week, got run off the road by one of the local residents. Boudreaux chases after the guy, until he pulls into a truck stop, jumps out of his country Cadillac, and proceeds to chew the Texan out. The Texan, about twice Boudreaux's size. calmly walks over to his car, and takes a tire tool out of the trunk. He walks back to where Boudreaux is standing, draws a circle in the dirt with the tire tool, and tells Boudreaux, If you get out of that circle, I'm gonna bash your face in !" He then walks over to Boudreaux's truck and smashes the headlights. Looking over, he sees Boudreaux laughing like a fool. Getting madder, he proceeds to break all of the windows on Boudreaux's truck. Looking back, he sees Boudreaux rolling on the ground laughing. He then goes to work on the truck, banging up the doors and hood. Looking over, he sees Boudreaux laughing so hard that he's starting to turn blue.

The Texan can't stand it any more, and asks Boudreaux, "Man, what's so funny ? I just destroyed your truck, and you're laughing like a crazy man. What's wrong with you ?" Boudreaux, still laughing, tells him, "Mais, while you were doing all dat and not looking at me, I got out dat circle three times !"


Marie's Physical

Marie went to the Doctor for her annual checkup the other day. When Boudreaux got home that afternoon, the first sight that greeted him was Marie, standing nude, admiring herself in the mirror. Boudreaux asks, "Mais, Marie. What in de world you doin' ?" Marie, obviously all proud of herself, tells him, "Boudreaux, I went for my checkup today, and de Doctor told me I have de breasts of a 25 year-old !" Boudreaux, not being one to let a chance pass him by, giggled and asked her, "Oh yeh, and what did he say about dat 50 year-old _ss of yours ?" Marie, not to be outdone, answered, "Well, come to think about it, Boudreaux, He didn't mention your name, not one time !"


The Animal Lovers

One afternoon, Boudreaux and Marie were driving down the levee towards Catahoula, when they spot a baby skunk on the side of the road, that looked like it was hurt. They stopped and picked it up to bring it home and nurse it back to health, to make a pet out of it. As they were driving home the baby skunk started shivering. Boudreaux tells Marie to put it between her legs to keep it warm. Marie says, "But Boudreaux, it stinks too bad !" Boudreaux tells her, "He'll be OK, just pinch his little nose !"


The Baseball Fans

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were two of the biggest baseball fans inAmerica. For their entire adult lives, they discussed baseball history all winter and they kept up with every score and statistic during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One summer night, Boudreaux passed away in his sleep after watching the Brave's victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Thibodeaux awoke to the sound of Boudreaux's voice. "Boud, is dat you?", Thib asked. "Mais, yeh it me," Boudreaux replied. "Dis is unbelievable!", Thibodeaux exclaimed. "So tell me, is der baseball in heaven?" Boudreaux says, "Well I got some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?" Thibodeaux said, "Tell me the good news first." Boudreaux answered, "Well, the good news is that, yes, there is baseball in heaven, Thib." "Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?" Boudreaux said, "Well, de bad news is dat you're pitching tomorrow night."


Watchin' TV

One night while Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were watching TV, a commercial about a new blockbuster movie was shown. At the end of the ad, the announcer stated, "Coming soon to a theater near you." Thibodeaux turns to Boudreaux and asked him, "Mais Boudreaux, how dey know where we live ?"


Thibodeaux Gives His Dog A Bath

Thibodeaux went to the grocery store the other day to get some laundry detergent. The grocer asked him why he needed such a large box of detergent. Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, dat's to give my coon dog a bath, and you know how big he is." The grocer tells him, "Thib, I don't tink you should use dat stuff on your dog. It's too strong, and it might get him sick, or it could even killed him." But Thibodeaux had his mind made up, and took the detergent anyway. About a week later he passed by the store, and the grocer asked him how his dog was. Thibodeaux told him, "Mais, my dog died !" The grocer tells him, "Thib, I tried to tell you dat stuff was too strong. You see what happend ?" Thibodeaux replies, "Oh, I don't tink it was de detergent dat killed him; I tink it was de spin cycle dat did it !"


Three Strikes And You're Out

Years ago, right after Boudreaux and Marie's wedding, they were on their way home in Boudreaux's wagon, being pulled by his old plow horse. A little way down the road, the old horse stumbles, and Boudreaux says, "Dat's once !" A little further down the road, the old horse stumbles again, and Boudreaux says, "Dat's twice !" Just before reaching home, the poor old horse had gotten real tired, and stumbled again. Boudreaux reaches under the seat of the wagon, pulls out his twice-barreled shootgun, and BLAM, shoots the horse. Marie is shocked and tells Boudreaux, "Boudreaux, dat was terrible. You shouldn't have done dat !" Boudreaux looks at her and tells her, "Dat's once !"


Boudreaux & Thibodeaux On The Golf Course

Thibodeaux had been a golf player for several years, and it was common knowledge that he had gotten quite good at the game. One day he talked Boudreaux into trying it out. Once on the first tee, Thibodeaux asked Boudreaux if he wanted to make a friendly bet, maybe $100.00, on the outcome of the game. Boudreaux told him that this was the first time he had played, and it didn't seem fair that they should bet. But Thibodeaux insisted, so Boudreaux told him, "Well, OK, but you gonna have to spot me two 'Gotchas'. " Well, Thib didn't understand what a "Gotcha" was, but he figured that he was a good enough golfer, that it wouldn't make any difference, so he agreed. After the game, walking back to the clubhouse, everyone was amazed to see Boudreaux counting the hundred dollars he just won from Thibodeaux. They asked Thib, how Boudreaux could have possibly beat him. Thib told them, "Mais, I was on de first tee, and started my swing, when Boudreaux reached up between my legs from behind, grabbed me, and yelled, 'Gotcha'. Have you ever tried to play eighteen holes of golf waiting for de second 'Gotcha' ?"


Thibodeaux's Hiccups

Thibodeaux walked into Boudreaux's Pharmacy yesterday afternoon, and asks Boudreaux, "Hey, Podnuh, you gots sumtin' for de hiccups ?" Boudreaux hauls off and slaps Thibodeaux right across the face. Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux, "Mais, my fren', why for you did dat ?" Boudreaux replies, "Well, you don't got no hiccups now, huh ?" Thibodeaux, tells him, "I didn't have me no hiccups, Clotile does !"


Thibodeaux's Chicken Farm

Thibodeaux lost his job at the crawfish farm, and decided that he was tired working for other people, so he decided to start a chicken farm. He goes to town to get some baby chicks, and tells the man at the store he wants 100 of them. A week later, he comes back to town to get another hundred baby chicks. Another week goes by, and Thibodeaux was back for yet another hundred chicks. The owner of the store remarked to Thibodeaux that he must really be doing well with his new venture. Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, no, not too pretty good. I can't figure out if I'm plantin' dem too deep, or too close together."


The Waitress

Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went to their favorite restaurant, where the food was great, but the waitress always had an attitude. One night, Boudreaux decided to have a little fun with her. When she came by to take their order, Boudreaux asked her, "Do you believe in free love ?" The waitress got all huffy and replied, "I most certainly do not !" Boudreaux smiled and asked, "Mais, Cher, in dat case, how much do you charge ?"


Marie's Twin Sister

Boudreaux went before the judge a few weeks ago to get a divorce from Marie. The judge tells Boudreaux, "Tell the court why you want a divorce." Boudreaux says, "Mais, your honor, it's like dis. Every now and den, my sister-in-law, she comes to visit, an' since her an' my wife is identical twins, I ends up makin' love to de wrong one by mistake." The judge tells him, "Well surely there must be some way you can tell them apart." Boudreaux tells the judge, "Oh yeh, dere sure is judge, an' dat's why I wants to divorce Marie !"


Thibodeaux Is Moving

Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux leaving his house the other day, with his "Country Cadillac" (pickum-up truck) loaded down with everything he owned. Naturally, he stopped Thibodeaux and asked him where he was going. Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, Boudreaux, I jus' saw on de news dat most accidents happen within twenty miles of home. So I decided to be safe, I'm moving thirty miles away from here !"


Clotile's Horseback Riding Accident

Clotile went for her first horseback ride last week, but it will probably be her last one too. Just as she was getting the hang of it, the horse bolted, throwing Clotile off. But instead of throwing her clear, her foot got hung up in the stirrup, and the horse kept on going, throwing Clotile around, and bouncing her head off the ground several times. It could have been a real tragedy too, except that the Wal-Mart manager saw what was happening, ran out and unplugged the horse.


Wrong-Way Boudreaux

Boudreaux was driving down Interstate 10 the other day, when his carphone rang. He answered it to hear Marie's voice on the other end, saying, "Boudreaux, I just heard on the radio dat dere's a pick-em-up truck driving de wrong way on I-10. Please be careful !" Boudreaux replies, "Mais, Marie, I already knows about it, but it's not just one, it dozens of dem going de wrong way !"


Marie Died (Or Did She ?)

Poor old Marie recently passed away. After the service at the funeral home, as the pall bearers were carrying her casket out, they accidently bumped into the wall, jarring the casket. They heard a moaning noise, and on opening the casket, found Marie to be very much alive. She lives for another fifteen years, and then dies. At her second funeral service, as the pallbearers were again carrying her casket, Boudreaux cautioned them, "And y'all watch out for de damn wall dis time !"


Ten Bucks Is Ten Bucks (Dollars)

Boudreaux and Marie went to the Louisiana Sate Fair every year. And every year, there was a guy there offering airplane rides for ten dollars. Every year, Boudreaux wanted to go flying, but could never get up enough nerve to go. Well this year is going to be different. Boudreaux decides that if he doesn't go this time, he never will. So he tells Marie, "Cher, I'm gonna take me dat plane ride dis time !" Marie tells him, "Boudreaux, dat's kinda expensive. Ten bucks is ten bucks." Boudreaux says, "Marie, if I don't go dis time, I'm never gonna go." Again Marie tells him, "But, Boudreaux, ten bucks is ten bucks." The pilot is standing nearby and hears them arguing about it, and tells them, "Look, if the two of you will promise to be real quiet, and don't say a word, I'll take both of you up for free. But if either of you says one word, I'll charge you the ten bucks." They finally agree, get into the airplane, and the pilot takes off. While in the air, the pilot figures if he can get either one of them to say something, he'll be able to charge them for the flight, so he proceeds to perform steep climbs and dives, do loops and rolls, and generally anything he can to scare them into saying something. But he doesn't hear a sound from the back of the plane. Finally he lands, and tells Boudreaux, "Man, I did everything I could to get you to say something, but you didn't." Boudreaux replies, "Mais, Mr. Pilot, I was gonna say sumting when Marie fell out back der, but ten bucks is ten bucks !"


Marie Teaches "Tee" Boudreaux To Read

Back when "Tee" Boudreaux was a little booger, his Mama, Marie, (she's the smart one in the family) was trying to teach him to read. And as all parents, she had a little animal book for him. As they went through the book, Marie was asking "Tee" Boudreaux about the different animals and the sounds they make. Marie asked him, "What kind of sound does a cow make ?" "Tee" Boudreaux says, "Mooo." Marie asks, "And what kind of sound does a cat make ?" "Tee" replies, "Meooww." Marie is really proud of him, and turns the page asking, "And what kind of sound does the frog make, Cher ?" "Tee" Boudreaux thinks for a minute and says, "Bud ??"

( Truly his daddy's son. )


Boudreaux, The Security Guard

A local factory was having a problem with thefts. They suspected that the night shift was stealing stuff. So they put an ad in the newspaper for a night watchman to try and catch the thief. Boudreaux applied and got the job. His first night on the job, as the workers were getting off, he checked each one of them, checking lunch pails, pockets, everything, but found no one with anything out of the ordinary, until one worker walked out pushing a wheelbarrow full of newspapers. Boudreaux knew he had his thief. He figured that the man was covering his pilfered goods with the newspapers, so he checked under all of the papers only to find nothing. Questioning the man, he was told that he collects all of the old newspapers from the lunch and breakrooms to sell them. Well, Boudreaux figured that he was gonna keep a close eye on this guy, that he had to be up to something. Every morning for the next year, as the night shift was getting off , Boudreaux would perform his searches, and every morning the man would leave with his wheelbarrow full of newspapers, but Boudreaux never caught anyone stealing. One night, when Boudreaux reported for work, he found his supervisor waiting for him. The boss told Boudreaux, "You haven't been doing your job. You're fired !" Of course this catches Boudreaux by surprise, because he thought he had done an excellent job, and told the boss as much. The boss asks Boudreaux, "OK, how do you explain that the factory is missing 365 wheelbarrows ?"


Another Bear Story

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were camping in the Atchafalaya Basin, and having set up their tent for the night, decided it was time for some shut eye. Right after going to sleep, they were awakened by a rustling noise outside the tent. They both jumped up and looked out through the tent flap to see a big, mean, hungry looking bear rummaging for food. Figuring it was only a matter of time before the bear ripped into the tent, Boudreaux put his boots on, and was lacing them up. Thibodeaux asks him, "Mais, Boudreaux, why for you putting dem boots on? You knows dat dem bears run fast, fast. Dem boots ain't gonna make you run no faster den dat bear." Boudreaux answers him, "Thib, I don't needs to run faster den dat bear. I jus' needs to run faster den you !"

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