and more . . . .
Boudreaux Got Drunk (Again)
Boudreaux is in a bar (again), and he has had quite a few already. At two o'clock, last round is called, and although he knows he shouldn't, he drinks one more beer, simply because they just taste too good. After the final beer, he slides from his stool and immediately falls on the floor. This surprised him. He knew he had had some, but not that much, he thought. He tries to get up, but again he falls. After several more attempts, he gives up and decides to crawl home. At the door of his house he realizes it is better not to stand up, since he will almost certainly fall again and wake up his wife, Marie. So he manages to crawl quietly inside to his bed and slips under the covers without waking her. The next morning, Marie asks him furiously, "Boudreaux, did you get drunk again last night "? Of course, Boudreaux is surprised that he got caught, and asks her how she knew. Marie tells him, "Because de bar just called, to tell you dat you left without your wheelchair again !"
The Vacation Trip
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were taking a long overdue vacation, (they were going spend a week at Holly Beach, the Cajun Riviera), and they stopped to get a bite to eat along the way. After they left the truck stop restaurant and had gotten several miles down the road, Thibodeaux suddenly realized that he had forgotten his glasses at the restaurant. They had to travel several more miles to find a turnaround to be able to go back. Boudreaux ranted and raved the whole way back, and was giving Thibodeaux holy hell for being so forgetful. By the time they got back to the truck stop, Thibodeaux was feeling real bad about giving Boudreaux all the trouble. As he got out of the truck to go get his glasses, Boudreaux tells him, "By de way, while you're in dere, you might as well get my hat, too !"
The Three-Legged Chicken
Boudreaux was driving to Thibodeaux's house yesterday, when he noticed a three-legged chicken running along the side of the road. As he drove along, he noticed that the chicken was keeping up with him, and he was doing 50 MPH. When he got to Thibodeaux's house, he asked Thibodeaux if he had ever seen that chicken. Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, yeh, dat's my chicken. You know how we likes to bar-b-que dem yard bird, 'specially dem drumstick, so I been studyin' dem genetics, and learned how to grow a three-legged chicken, so we can have an extra drumstick to eat." Boudreaux says, "Mais, dat's nice, and how dey taste ?" Thibodeaux tells him, "We don't know. We ain't been able to catch one of dem yet !"
Boudreaux Just Thinks He's The Boss
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were talking about their married lives one day, and it seems that Thibodeaux was quite henpecked by Clotile. So Boudreaux, being the good friend he was, told Thibodeaux that he should assert himself more, and show Clotile that he is the boss. Thibodeaux decides to give it a try. He went home, walked in slamming the door, shook his fist in Clotile's face, and growled, "Clotile, from now on, I'm de boss aroun' here, and you're gonna do what I say. I wants my supper, right now. And after you put supper on de table, go upstairs and get me out some clean clothes, 'cause I'm goin' out wid de guys tonight, and I don't wants no static from you ! And another ting, you gonna stay home where you belong ! And while we at it, who you tink is gonna tie my tie for me ?" Clotile replies quietly, "De way you acting, it's probably gonna be de mortician !"
Thibodeaux Wants A Deevorce
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux were back at the City Bar Saturday night, when Thibodeaux remarked, "I tink I'm gonna deevorce Clotile, me ! She hasn't talked to me in six months. Not one damn word !" Boudreaux thinks for a minute, then tells Thibodeaux, "Thib, maybe you oughta tink before you do dat. A wife like dat is hard to find, yeh !"
Thibodeaux's Coon Dog Died
Thibodeaux went by to see Father Boudreaux at the Catholic church to ask him if he would do a funeral service for his favorite coon dog that just died. Father Boudreaux tells him that they don't have masses for animals, but that there is a new church just down the levee, and that they may do animal services. Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, OK, I'm gonna go over dere right now. You tink dat a $10,000 donation to der church will be enough for doin' de service ?" Father Boudreaux says, "Oh, my fren, come on inside. Why you didn't told me dat your coon dog was Catholic ?"
Thibodeaux's House Catches Fire
Thibodeaux was on his patio barbequeing some yard bird (chicken, for you Northerners) the other day, and let the fire on the pit get out of hand. The first thing he knew, the patio roof was on fire. So he ran into the house and called the fire department. Fire chief Boudreaux answered the phone to hear Thibodeaux yelling, "Y'all come quick. I done caught my house on fire !" Chief Boudreaux asked him, "OK, how do we get there?" Thibodeaux replies, "Mais, Chief, y'all ain't gots dat big red truck no more ?"
The Sugarcane Wagon
Little Boudreaux Jr. was driving the tractor across a field pulling a wagon loaded down with sugarcane, when one of the wagon's wheels hit a rut and overturned. Thibodeaux heard the noise and hollered at Little Boudreaux, "Hey, come on inside and have lunch wid us, and we'll take care of de wagon after we eat." Little Boudreaux, told him, "Well, dat's awful nice of you, but I don't tink my Papa would want me to right now." Thibodeaux told him, "Aw come on in. Your Papa won't even know." Tee-Boudreaux replied, "Mais, OK, but I still tink Papa is gonna be real mad." After lunch, Tee-Boudreaux said his thanks, and added, "Mais, dat sure was good, but I know my Papa is gonna be mad by now." Thibodeaux says, "Why should he be mad ? Where is your Papa, anyway ?" Tee-Boudreaux tells him, "Under de wagon !"
Boudreaux and Marie Buy Some Furniture
Boudreaux and his lovely wife Marie went to the furniture store to look for new furniture for their living room. After looking around and finding what they were looking for, they realized that what they wanted was pretty expensive. They told the salesman that they didn't think they could afford it. The salesman tells them, "Well, we have a plan where you just put a small down payment on it, then you don't make another payment for six months." Marie gets her mad all up and screams at the salesman, "Mais, who told you about us ?"
Who Wears The Pants ?
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux and Hebert were talking over their brewskis the other day. Thibodeaux and Hebert were discussing how they have total control over their wives, but Boudreaux wasn't saying a word. After awhile, Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux, "And how 'bout you, Boudreaux, you gots de control at your house ?" Boudreaux says, "Let me told y'all. De other night, my wife, Marie, she came to me on her hands and knees." Thibodeaux asks, "Yeh, and what happened den?" Boudreaux took a healthy sip of his beer, and kinda mumbled, "Well, dat's when she told me, 'Come out from under dat bed, you coward, and fight like a man !' "
Thibodeaux Had A Little Accident
Thibodeaux was doing some work for Boudreaux at the farm, and Boudreaux had sent him way out toward the back of the property to fix some fences early this morning. Well, mid-afternoon rolls around, and Boudreaux hadn't seen or heard from Thibodeaux, who should have been finished and back a couple of hours earlier. Boudreaux gets on the CB radio and calls Thibodeaux. Thib tells him, "Boss, I'm running late because I hit a pig, and I'm stuck wid it out here." Boudreaux tells him, "Well, don't worry 'bout it, Thib. Dos' tings happen. Jus' drag it off in de ditch, so nobody else hits it in de dark." Thibodeaux tells him back, "But boss, he's still alive, and he's pretty big. He might hurt me." Boudreaux says, "Mais, look under de seat of de truck. Dere's a 12 gauge in dere. Just shoot him and throw de carcass in de ditch." Thibodeaux says, "OK, Boss, whatever you say." A little later, still no Thibodeaux, so Boud gets back on the CB and calls him again, "Thib, what's takin' you so long ?" Thibodeaux says, "Boss, I done what you told me, but I'm still stuck." Boudreaux asks, "Did you do exactly what I told you, to shoot him and drag him off de road ?" Thibodeaux replies, "Yeh, I did dat, OK, but his motorcycle is still jammed under de truck !"
( For my law enforcement friends. )
Have A Drink
Boudreaux was walking to work the other morning, when Thibodeaux sees him, and walks over to him and says, "Hey Boudreaux, I gots me some of de best white lightnin' ever. Why don't you take a drink, you ?" Boudreaux says, "Man, I'm on my way to work. I can't take no drink, me." Thibodeaux says, "Come on. Take a drink." Boudreaux says, "No, man, I said I can't." Thibodeaux pulls out his twice barrel scattergun, holds it on Boudreaux and says, "TAKE A DRINK !" So Boudreaux takes a drink. I mean, what else he gonna do with a twice barrel shootgun in his face? Boudreaux says, "Whooee, dat sure is some strong stuff !" Thibodeaux says, "Yeh, I know. Now you hold de shootgun on me and make me take a drink."
(Contributed by James Barrett via E-Mail. Thanks Jim.)
Sounds Like A Lotta Bull, To Me
Boudreaux and Marie were walking around at the State Fair last week, when they walked through the livestock area. They were walking through the area where the bulls were penned up, and Marie noticed a sign on one pen that stated that bull had mated 50 times last year. She looked at Boudreaux and remarked, "Humm, dat's almost once a week, Boudreaux." The next bull they walked by had a sign saying that bull had mated 70 times last year. Marie looks at Boudreaux and says, "Boudreaux, dat's more den once a week. You could take lessons from dat bull." As they walk on, the next pen has a sign stating that particular bull had mated 365 times last year. Marie, totally flustered now, turns to Boudreaux and says, "Dammit Boudreaux, dat's every damn day. You could really learn alot from dis one !" Boudreaux calmly looks at Marie and tells her, "Yeh, but I'll be willing to bet dat wasn't 365 times wid de same cow !"
A Few Good Words
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Hebert were sitting around talking one afternoon after enjoying a little crawfish boil, and the conversation turned to what they would like to have people say about them if they died. Hebert says, "Me, if I could hear what dey are saying while I'm laying in my casket is dat I was a great doctor and a good family man." Thibodeaux says, "Me, I would like to hear dem say dat I was a good husband and a great teacher, and made a difference in de lives of hundreds of childrens." Boudreaux thinks for a minute and says, "Mais, me, I would like to hear somebody say, 'Look, he's moving !' "
Boudreaux Has Surgery
Boudreaux recently had surgery, and as he was waking up in the recovery room, he opened his eyes, and seeing Marie standing there, he groggily says, "Cher, you're beautiful !", and drifts back off to sleep. Made Marie feel real good. A little while later he wakes up again, looks at Marie, and mumbles, "You're cute !" Marie, a litle disappointed, asks him, "What happened to 'beautiful' ?" Boudreaux replies, "Mais, de drugs are wearing off !"
Boudreaux & Marie's 50th Anniversary
Boudreaux & Marie were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Boudreaux remarked, "You know, Cher, it's been fifty years since we sat here for our first breakfast together." Marie replied, "Yeh, an' if I remembers right, we was nekked as jaybirds dat morning." Boudreaux, asks her, "Cher, what you tink ? Should we get nekked ?" Marie, of course agrees. They strip off all of their clothes, and sitting back down, Marie says, "Oh, Boudreaux, my breasts are as hot for you today as dey was fifty years ago." Boudreaux tells her, "Mais, I guess so, one of dem is in your coffee, an' de other one is in your oatmeal !"
Boudreaux goes to visit an old voodoo women way back in the swamp. He asks the old woman, "Can you remove a 'curse' on me I been living wid for de last fifty years ?" The old woman tells him that she probably can, but she needs to know the exact words of the 'curse'. Boudreaux says, "Oh yeh, de exact words was, 'I now pronounce you man and wife' !"
Boudreaux & The Census Taker
Boudreaux hears a knock on his front door, and on opening it, he sees a man standing on the porch holding a pad and pencil. Boudreaux tells the man, "Whatever you're selling, I ain't interested !" The man tells Boudreaux, "Oh, no sir, I'm not selling anything. I'm the census taker." Boudreaux asks him, "What dat is, a census taker ?" The man attempts to explain that they are trying to find out how many people there are in the country. Boudreaux says, "Mais, my fran, you sure askin' de wrong man. I ain't gots no idea !"
Boudreaux & Marie's Fiftieth Anniversary
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux were sitting at the City Bar last week talking about the "good old days", when Thibodeaux asked, "Boudreaux, ain't you and Marie's anniversary coming up ?" Boudreaux says, "Mais, yeh, the fiftieth one." Thibodeaux asked, "Mais, what y'all gonna do, anything special ?" Boudreaux tells him,"Well, for our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Marie to Houston. Maybe for dis one, I'll go back and get her."
Last year, Boudreaux bought Marie's momma a cemetary plot for a Christmas gift. This year, he didn't buy her anything. Incensed, Momma-in-law asked Boudreaux why he didn't give her any gifts this year. Boudreaux told her, "Mais, because you still haven't used what I bought you last year !"
Boudreaux Gets The Last Laugh
Boudreaux and Marie argued constantly. They would argue about any and everything. Marie would always tell Boudreaux when she was mad, "One of dese days, I'm gonna dance on your grave !" Every time Marie made that statement, Boudreaux would tell her, "We'll see about dat !" Well, old Boudreaux up and died, and as a last request, had himself buried at sea.
Marie's Christmas Present
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went back to work at the crawfish farm after the holidays, and were talking about what they had bought their wives for Christmas. Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux that he bought Marie a diamond ring as a gift. Thibodeaux remarked, "But Boudreaux, I thought Marie wanted a new Mercedes for Christmas." Boudreaux tells him, "Mais, yeh, dat's what she wanted, alright, but where I'm gonna find a fake Mercedes ?"
Boudreaux Finally Gets Home
Boudreaux drags himself into the house about six in the morning, after another all night drinking session. Marie is waiting for him, and says, "I suppose you gots a good reason for coming in here at six in de morning smellin' like a brewery !" Boudreaux, as he staggers off to the bedroom, "Mais, yeh, it's time for breakfast !"
Thibodeaux's House Needs Painting
Clotile tells Thibodeaux one day, "Thib, de house sure needs to be painted." Thibodeaux tells her, "Not now, it's winter time." A couple of months later, Clotile comes home with a few gallons of paint, and says, "Thib, de house still needs to be painted." Thibodeaux says, "Not yet, it's still too cold." Summer rolls around and Clotile decides to start the painting herself. Thibodeaux pulls up a bucket and is sitting on it drinking a beer while Clotile is busy doing the painting. Boudreaux walks by and remarks, "Thib, ain't you ashamed of youself ? Why for you sitting der drinking a beer while your wife does all de painting ?" Thibodeaux looks at Clotile, then looks back at Boudreaux, and says, "Mais, dat's simple, Clotile don't like beer !"
Boudeaux Goes To The Doctor
Marie has been complaining that Boudreaux doesn't do anything around the house, and figures there must be something wrong with him. She makes him go to the Doctor for a checkup. After Boudreaux is through getting the physical, the Doctor tells him, "Mr. Boudreaux, I don't find anything physically wrong with you that should keep you from doing any work. The only thing I can figure is that you're just lazy." Boudreaux tells him, "Mais, I coulda tol' you dat, Doc. Now gives me a big medical term for dat so I can go home an' tell my wife."
Marie's Turn At The Doctor
Marie hadn't been feeling too perky lately, so Boudreaux brought her in for a checkup. After the Doctor examined her, he tells Boudreaux, "Mr. Boudreaux, I can't really say that I like the way your wife looks." Boudreaux, tells him, "Mais, Doc, me neither, But she's a good cook, an' keeps de house clean !"
Boudreaux Went Deaf
Boudreaux was driving down the levee the other day, when he was pulled over by a State Trooper. The Trooper walks up to the car and asks Boudreaux, "Sir, do you realize that your wife fell out of your car a few miles back ?" Boudreaux, with a sigh of relief, tells the Trooper, "Oh, thank you Mr. Trooper, for a few minutes I thought I had gone deaf !"
"Tee" Boudreaux And The Brick
"Tee" Boudreaux was in class the other day, when his teacher placed a brick on her desk as part of a creative thinking project. She asked different kids in the class what they thought of when they saw the brick. Little Angela said, "I think of my Daddy. He's a construction worker." "Very good.", said the teacher. Little Bobby's turn was next. "I think of a house, because bricks are used to build them." "Very good.", said the teacher. She then noticed that "Tee" Boudreaux was snoozing in the back of the room, so she called on him to wake him up, "And what do you think of when you see the brick, 'Tee' ?" "Tee" replied, "Nekked girls, teacher." The teacher was all upset and asked him, "Why ? This is a brick." "Tee" replies, "Cause dat's what I always tinks about !"
Boudreaux's preacher was well known known for his excrutiatingly long sermons. One Sunday, about halfway through his sermon, the preacher noticed Boudreaux stand up and walk out of the church. A little later, Boudreaux came back in and sat down. After the service, the preacher asked Boudreaux where he had gone. Boudreaux told him, "I went to got me a haircut !" Preacher asked, "Why didn't you do that before coming to church ?" Boudreaux tells him, "Because I didn't need one when I got here!"
The Poor Preacher
"Tee" Boudreaux also went to church that Sunday. After the service was over, he was talking to the preacher, and told him, "When I grows up, I'm gonna give you some money." The preacher, touched by the young man's intentions, said, "Well, thank you, 'Tee', but why ?" "Tee" tells him, "Because my Poppa says you is de poorest preacher we done ever had !"
"Tee" Boudreaux Is Leaving Home
"Tee" Boudreaux was having a bad day at the farm, and finally told Boudreaux and Marie, "I'm tired of dis farm life. I wants to travel, see the world, have excitement and adventure, make money and have lots of beautiful women. I'm leaving, and don't y'all try to stop me !" And that being said, headed for the door. Boudreaux gets up and follows him. "Tee" said, "Didn't you hear me ? I told you not to try and stop me !" Boudreaux says, "Mais, I'm not trying to stop you. If you'll give me a minute to gets my hat, I'm coming wid you !"
The Anniversary Trip
Boudreaux and Marie's 25th wedding anniversary was coming up and Boudreaux suggested, "Cher, let's do something special for our anniversary. We don't never go nowheres. Why don't we go to Las Vegas ?" Marie agreed that would be nice. When they got to their hotel, a gorgeous young lady came up to Boudreaux and was being very "friendly" toward him. He just turned and walked away from her. Marie tells him, "Boudreaux, dat wasn't nice of you. Why you acted dat way to dat girl ?" Boudreaux says, "Marie, dat was a lady of de night." Marie says, "Mais, what makes you tink dat ?" Boudreaux says, "Let's go up to de room, an' I'll prove it." They go upstairs, and Boudreaux calls the front desk and asks to have the girl sent up to the room. He tells Marie to hide in the bathroom and listen. A couple of minutes later, there is a knock on the door, and Boudreaux lets the girl in. He asks her, "How much do you charges, Cher ?" She says, "$150.00 for the basics, and another $100.00 for the 'extras'." Boudreaux tells her, "Whooee, dat's alot. I was tinking more like $25.00 for everyting." The girl laughs at him and says, "You must be a real bumpkin. Forget it !", and leaves. Marie comes out of the bathroom saying, "Poo-yie, I wouldn't of believed it. Anyways, I'm hungry, let's go downstairs and eat." While they're sitting in the restaurant, the girl walks by their table, and looking at Marie, tells Boudreaux, "See what you get for $25.00 ?"
Thibodeaux Wants To Get Married
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux were at the City Bar again last weekend, when Thibodeaux announced that he was getting married. Boudreaux asks him who the lady is. Thibodeaux tells him, "Me an' Mary Lou, de little redhead down at de general store is gonna get married." Boudreaux tells him, "Oh, Thib, you oughta be ashamed of youself. You is 75 years old, an' dat little girl is only about 20-sumting." Thibodeaux replies, "Mais, whats wrong wid dat ? She's de same age as my first wife was when I married her !"
Marie Wants To Look Younger
Boudreaux is always complaining that Marie is starting to show her age, so she decides to improve her looks. She went to Wal-Mart the other day, and came home with a bag full of beauty aids and cosmetics. She sat in front of the mirror for hours applying all the stuff trying to make herself more beautiful and look younger. Later that afternoon, Boudreaux comes in from working at the crawfish farm, and sees Marie standing there. Marie asks him, "Boudreaux, how old do I look to you now ?" Boudreaux tells her, "Mais, looking at your hair, maybe eighteen, your skin looks like about twenty, and your figure no more den twenty-five." Marie exclaims, "Oh Boudreaux, all de trouble I went to did some good !" Boudreaux says, "Hold on, Marie, I ain't finished yet. Gives me a minute to add 'em all up !"
Thibodeaux Can't Hear
Thibodeaux went to the ear doctor yesterday complaining, "Doc, I can't hear nutting in my right ear !" The doctor gets his ear scope and looks into Thib's ear. He looks at Thibodeaux and tells him, "Thib, it's no wonder you can't hear. You've got a suppository stuck in your ear." Thibodeaux exclaims, " Now I remember where I put my hearing aid ! "
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Hebert were working on that big bridge over the Mississippi River in Baton Rouge, when a big gust of wind knocked Hebert off the bridge, and falling into the river, he drowned. Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were discussing who would go tell Mrs. Hebert about the accident. Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux, "Mais, I guess I could do it. I kinda got a way wid words, and I can kinda make it a little easier for her." A couple of hours later, Boudreaux comes back carrying a six-pack of beer under his arm. Thibodeaux of course asks, "Boudreaux, where you got dat beer ?" Boud tells him, "Mrs. Hebert gave me it." Thibodeaux says, "Dat's hard to believe. You go tell dat lady her husband died, an' she gives you a six-pack ?" Boudreaux tells him, "Well, dat's not exactly how it happened. When I got to de house, I knocked on de door, and when she opened it, I axed her, 'Are you de widow Hebert ?' " She tells me, "I'm not a widow ." I tells her, "You wanta bet a six-pack ?"
Another Doctor's Visit
Boudreaux went to the doctor's office the other day, and told Doc, "I don't know what's wrong wid me. I'm always tired, I have dese headaches, and I can't sleeps at night." The doctor tells Boudreaux, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be all the drinking." Boudreaux says, "Mais, I'll tell you what, Doc. I'll come back when you sobers up !"
Boudreaux and Marie were sitting on their front porch on their fiftieth anniversary, when suddenly, Marie picks up her walking cane and wops Boudreaux across his shins. Boudreaux cries out in pain and yells, "Dammit, Marie, why for you did dat ?" Marie tells him, "Dat's for fifty years of bad sex !" A few minutes later, Boudreaux picks up his cane and wops Marie across her shins. Marie screams at Boudreaux, "Why for you hit me like dat ?" Boudreaux says, "Dat's for knowin' de difference !"
Thibodeaux Played Football ?
Thibodeaux showed up to work at the crawfish farm yesterday, limping real bad. Boudreaux asked him why he was limping. Thibodeaux tells him, "Aw, dat's from an old football injury. It kinda acts up sometimes." Boudreaux says, "Thib, I didn't know you ever played football." Thibodeaux replies, "Mais, no, I never actually played football. I hurt it de other day when I lost $100.00 on de super bowl, an' put my foot through de television set !"
Boudreaux is "The Man"
Eighty-seven year old Boudreaux went to the doctor the other day, explaining his "problem" to the doc. "Doc, you gots to help me. Every time I makes love to Marie, I gets weak in de knees, my eyesight gets blurry, and I can hardly caught my breath. What's wrong wid me ?" The doctor tells him, "Well, Mr. Boudreaux, these things happen. You've got to realize that you're getting on in years, and these things are perfectly natural for an 87 year old man. When did you notice these symptoms ?" Boudreaux thinks for a minute, and replies, "Well, let's see, three times last night, and twice dis morning !"
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were attending a convention in "Nawlins" a few days ago. One morning they met for breakfast, and Thibodeaux asked Boudreaux how he had slept the night before. Boudreaux tells him, "Not too good. I had a wild woman beating on my door until five o'clock dis morning." Thibodeaux asks him, "What happend to make her stop at five o'clock ?" Boudreaux tells him, "Mais, dat's about de time I let her out !"
The Lodge Meeting
Thibodeaux had left home to attend his and Boudreaux's monthly Royal Order of the Racoon Lodge meeting. About twenty minutes after he left, he walked back in the door. Clotile asked, "Thib, I thought you was goin' to your lodge meeting. What you doin' back home already ?" Thibodeaux replied sadly, "Mais, it's like dis. We had to cancel de meeting, 'cause Boudreaux is our lodge's Grand Exalted Maximum Invincible Supreme Potentate, and his, wife, Marie, wouldn't let him out of de house tonight."
A Real Close Shave
Boudreaux was on a business trip last week when he decided to stop in at a barber shop for a shave. While he was waiting for the barber to shave him, a rather good looking young lady came over to him and offered him a manicure. Boudreaux decided that would be nice, (since she was sooo good looking.). While getting his shave and manicure he couldn't help himself and started talking trash with the young woman. "Hey, baby, how 'bout you an' me goin' out on de town tonight ?" She tells him, "I don't think my husband would approve of that." Boudreaux says, "Aw, don't you worry none 'bout you husband. He'll never know. Jus' told him you had to work late." The pretty young thing replies, "Why don't you tell him I have to work late. He's the guy with the straight razor standiing behind you !"
The Birds And The Bees
One day, Boudreaux asked "Tee" Boudreaux, when was about 10-years-old, "My boy, does you know about de birds an' de bees ?" "Tee" tells him, "No, an' I don't wants to know !" Boudreaux, of course asked him why he didn't want to know. "Tee" tells him, "Poppa, when I was six, you told me 'There's no Santa Claus'. When I was seven, you told me 'There's no Easter Bunny'. When I was eight, I heard 'There's no tooth fairy'. Now I is ten, an' if I find out that adults don't have sex, den I ain't got nuttin left to live for !"